Just like you, I am patriotic, through and through. I gladly stand and repeat “The Pledge of Allegiance.” I place my right hand over my heart and say, “one nation under God with liberty, and justice for all.” There is no comma, no pause, after the word “God.”
I will jump to my feet when the “Star Spangled Banner” is played. Again, I’ll place my right hand over my heart, and sing with all the enthusiasm I can muster.
But, I’ll draw the line at saluting a pair of patriotic underwear!
Mary and I were shopping at Walmart. I was looking for a patriotic necktie to wear to church. They didn’t have any, but Mary pointed out a display of patriotic boxers.
“Maybe you should get a pair for the holiday,” she said.
“Who would wear such a thing?” I was offended at the thought of wearing the American flag inside my pants.
“I don’t know who would wear them, but somebody must, or they wouldn’t be selling them at Walmart.”
“The only guy who would wear those is a guy who is planning to blow his fingers off playing with firecrackers, and wants to keep the holiday spirit while he is in the Emergency Room!” I retorted.
I won’t turn this essay into a rant on “the over commercialization of everything,” but I want to.
As we stood there looking, at least a dozen bad jokes popped into my head – very funny jokes. Unrepeatable jokes. I couldn’t help myself. I was looking at underwear, grinning from ear to ear!
“That pair isn’t so bad,” Mary said, while pointing to a pair.
“The Liberty Bell?” I asked. “Liberty Bell Shorts? That does kind of have a nice ring to it.”
I must stop now, or all of those very funny, but unrepeatable jokes will spill out onto this page.
In closing, I will mention, sarcastically, that the crack on the Liberty Bell shorts was strategically placed. Enough, already!
I hope everyone had a blessed and safe Fourth of July week. May God continue to Bless America.
“Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord” (Psalm 33:12).
Chuck Terrill, who has doctorates from Master Theological Seminary and Trinity Seminary, is the senior minister at First Christian Church in Cassville. He may be reached at 417-847-2460.
