Janet Mills: Can I Hear You? Are You Listening?

When was the last time that you tried to call one of your adult children and they actually picked up the phone?

The obvious next attempt to reach them is via a text message. You may need to wait a while for a response and if you are anything like me, you might find yourself checking your phone over and over for a one- or two-word reply.

You definitely do not want to stumble across the overbearing parent boundary and take that step of annoyance by sending multiple texts implying that they may not have received the first one.

Simple responses like “OK” or “We’re fine” or “Got it” or “Home safe” and perhaps by a stretch “Be there by 6pm” are cherished responses to a mother’s inquiry into her children’s status or plans.

Although communication through the various social platforms is extensively utilized and mainstream, it seems real direct personal contact on demand is just not very popular nowadays.

Isn’t it so much more fulfilling to hear the vocal nuances and witness the facial expressions of the person with whom you are in contact?

In person, I can really hear you. I can see you and feel your presence.

In person, I can authentically focus on listening to you.

In person, I can emotionally connect to the experiences that you are conveying.

How many times have you misread the intention behind a text because it lacked context or adequate details? I am an advocate for investing in conversations face to face.

My weekday routine includes multiple opportunities for purposeful visiting with the public.

Although requiring a commitment to a sacrifice of my time, I am afforded the luxury of navigating through one-on-one in person conversations.

These chats are not limited to a single direction, theme, or purpose and have an open allowance for the topics to be rather random.

I believe there is tremendous merit in digging beneath the surface in your encounters. A real conversation face to face can open up a tap to unlimited knowledge and wisdom to be gained through listening.

It is a conscious choice to take the time. Forgetting about yourself is necessary in order to create the non-threatening and nonjudgmental openness for an authentic moment to occur.

Make the choice to stow away any self-conscious barriers and put aside your personal noise interference temporarily to benefit from the opportunity to listen to someone’s story.

If you seek to grow, mature and develop along your journey, listening to the experiences of others is a key means to that end.

The stories that have been shared with me over the years include subjects describing many levels of obstacles and troubled circumstances. They also include themes of victory after enduring challenges and trials in life.

These exchanges enlightened and educated me. My desire is to demonstrate God’s love and compassion. I hope to make a difference each day using God’s power working through me and through His way of giving back.

Visitors to the food pantry commonly describe painful circumstances and scenarios that they are going through. They might be coping with chronic and degenerative health.

They could have lost loved ones and friends. They might be feeling isolated and lonely. It is simple for us to demonstrate our compassion by listening.

We can ask, “Do you want to talk about that?” or “What has been going on in your day today?” It is pretty easy to get people to open up when you demonstrate genuine engagement and are willing to give the time for the exchange to flow.

We cannot necessarily fix their pain or issues that they are going through, but we can help them not feel all alone with their painful emotions.

The experiences of others can provide road maps and encouragement for dealing with our own struggles and obstacles. Their knowledge can illuminate a perspective to help examine identity and purpose in a different light.

If we are listening, we can expand our assumptions and be led into making better decisions for our own journeys.

Take the time to invest in conversations face to face. Dig beneath the surface in your encounters to make an impact upon the health of yourself and the community .

Janet Mills is the director of Cassville Pantry, located at 800 W. 10th St. in Cassville. She may be reached at cassvillepantry@gmail.com or 417 846-7871.