I was in the seventh grade and our gym teacher decided it was time for our exercise to turn to dancing.
It was 1982, and the dances she wanted us to participate in were disco and some dance from the 50s. It didn’t matter to me because I wasn’t the least skilled at either.
The only hope that dared remain was based on being partnered with a girl that I had fallen deeply in love with, or so I thought. I was going to open my heart and hope I didn’t step on it with my two left feet.
Nothing except for her face was pretty during that whole experience. Maybe because of a lack of charm or skill, I failed to win her heart as we danced to “Staying Alive,” which is exactly what my dance moves looked like. I was in way over my head.
When it became apparent that my love was unrequited I felt myself becoming bitter inside. I was angry at myself for not being more loveable and angry at her for not seeing how loveable I truly was.
It wasn’t until much later in life, as I began to consider the ways of Jesus, that I finally understood what I had missed.
It wasn’t the love of my life — she came much later. What I had missed was a chance to share a better kind of love with her that wasn’t based on what I could gain in the relationship.
If we turn our love off and on based on what we are receiving from others, it’s not really love, at least not as God would define it.
God says that “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8, ESV) We think of those verses as relating to marriage, but they are truly for all of our relationships. We are never more like our Creator than when we live by those verses as we relate to everyone.
Love is meant to share without expectation. Love is not resentful, because it bears and endures when it is not returned. It patiently waits to be received, because it does not end, if it is truly love.
Maybe Valentine’s Day didn’t go how you wanted it to. Maybe in its own way it resembled my Junior High dancing days. Don’t let it make you bitter and unloving. Love that is not returned is still much better than bitterness that is.
Today we have a choice… choose love. Jesus did. And it changed the world.
Pastor Rich Cummings was called to Emmanuel Baptist Church in August 2022 and he has been a pastor since 2006. He has an MDiv from Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. He may be reached at rich@ebccassville.
com.
