March of 2020 was a month that changed many people’s lives forever.

It was the dreaded beginning of COVID. But for me, it was something more. It was when my life forever changed for the better.

Let me back up a little. In the fall of 2019; I woke up one day and had lost most of the vision in my left eye. As the day went on, it worsened. I saw my eye doctor and was diagnosed with optic neuritis (swelling of the nerve to the eye) which is often the first symptom of multiple sclerosis. I left the protective cocoon of being the doctor, the one making the decisions, and became the patient.

I was scared, frustrated, and felt alone.

I had MRIs, thousands of dollars worth of labs, steroid infusions, steroid pills, steroid injections in my eyes, and none of it worked. Phone calls went unanswered, and my frustration mounted. Meanwhile, my vision was worsening, I started having numbness and weakness in the left side of my body, and I was so incredibly tired.

My coping mechanism is generally to work harder, power through, but that strategy failed me. It only made me more tired. I would sleep 12 hours, wake up and wonder how I would have enough energy to make it to the bathroom to shower. I was completely miserable.

I finally got the official diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis. An incurable autoimmune disease where the body attacks the myelin in the brain and nerves.

I tried my best to be a good patient. I took the medication they prescribed — $14,000 per month was the price tag. But the real price was the damage it did to my body. It caused incredible nausea as well as horrific hot flashes and hives. All while my symptoms continued to worsen.

I woke up one day with the most incredible pain I have ever experienced on the side of my face. In walked trigeminal neuralgia. Never ask if things could possibly get worse because they absolutely can.

Severe pain day in and day out. I couldn’t chew food for weeks. I couldn’t smile, drink cold drinks, hot drinks, or be touched on the side of my face. The light in my eyes faded and I was simply surviving.

My babies couldn’t kiss me on the left side of my face when I tucked them into bed. I was depressed, angry, and most of all scared. What’s a doctor without her brain?

I made the decision to do a radical treatment in Mexico, as it is still in trial phase in the US. Hemopoietic Stem Cell Transplant (HSCT) with chemotherapy to kill off my mutated immune system. On Feb. 28, 2020, my husband and I left our children at home with their grandmother and took a chance that changed our lives.

The treatment was completed over 30 days total. It was hard, I was sick and weak and my hair fell out (I blogged daily on Facebook with the hope that someone else could learn from my journey). I would be lying if I said it wasn’t miserable.

But it worked. It put my MS in remission when nothing else would.

Then I started over with a new immune system, up 50 pounds, no hair, and an incredibly weak body. I would like to say I came home and practiced wonderful self-care, but that’s a lie.

I came home and tried to survive and run a clinic during COVID. Everything that felt hard before got harder. Then, I slowly started to regain my strength. I had longer periods with more energy and slowly started meditation and exercise. I learned to love a body that I once viewed as broken.

The anger was replaced with acceptance. I slowly saw the light start to shine in my eyes again. I’ve been asked a lot about my recovery, and there’s really no secret.

I now eat to feed my body. I’ve cut out most sugar, all gluten, dairy and processed foods. I do yoga and meditate with gratitude every day. I came back looking like someone I didn’t recognize — now I’m the most authentic, happiest version of me.

I’m no longer concerned with the judgement of others, second guessing how I might be perceived.

I look different, think differently, and am so incredibly thankful to be different.

Dr. Lisa Roark is the owner of Roark Family Health and Medical Spa. She may be reached at 417-847-1111.