My sixth Father’s Day snuck up on me this year.
With the recent storm damage to our office and upcoming trip to the annual International Society of Weekly Newspaper Editors conference, it wasn’t until Friday or Saturday that I realized Sunday would be my day.
Throw in a federal holiday on Wednesday — our print day — and there’s not many more scenarios that would make a publisher scramble as much as I have this week.
Yet, through all the hustle and bustle of planning our trip and coordinating our office repairs, I found myself reflecting on who made me a father in the first place — my kids.
I always thought I’d be a dad sooner than it actually happened. But, we all know what they say about “the best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men.” I met my first daughter, Ellie, when she was 3 years old, as blonde and as shy as could be, clinging to her mother, Jordan Troutman, when being introduced to myself and Darlene Wierman at the Cassville Democrat office.
I knew she would be coming and wanted to make a good impression, so I had raided my fridge earlier and amassed a collection of sweets, including a big tub of ice cream. Six years later, her sweet tooth has only grown.
Shy in public, our father-daughter relationship jumpstarted when I entered her domain. A bit after Jordan and I started dating, I went to their place for dinner for the first time. I’ll never forget how Ellie grabbed my hand and dragged me to her room to play.
As she showed me each of her toys and dolls, one by one, a shot grins out the door at Jordan in the kitchen. I could never have imagined how natural our relationship would be, and I am in awe all the time of how much love pours out of our now 9-year-old.
As Jordan and I moved toward our engagement and wedding, we agreed one little miss was not enough.
In August 2021, I became a dad all over again, but differently. Instead of an ice cream-eating, doll-loving 3-year-old, I was holding Olivia, an hours-old newborn with a squishy face, Michelin Man legs and so much fine black hair on her back she looked like a baby gorilla.
Now, Ellie is entering fourth grade and Olivia is hardly a baby any more.
Smarter than what’s good for her, Ellie is our firecracker. She’s imaginative, intuitive, creative and thoughtful. I don’t know how many of those traits, if any, for which I can take credit, but I’m pretty sure her stubbornness, argumentativeness and sarcasm is 99% me.
Too adorable for her own good, Olivia is sweet, helpful, athletic and has this sense of humor you would never expect from a kid her age. I feel like I can take a little credit for the athleticism, but I probably also have to take credit for her being a bit on the spoiled side.
Becoming the father of two girls has changed the direction of my life greatly, and much for the better. First and foremost, it’s given me a new perspective on patience. From night terrors to disappointments about being told no, and from toddler babble miscommunications (mostly over food) to sleep regression, I can’t count the number of times I have had to take a deep breath and count to 10.
That patience has served me well in other areas of my life, especially professionally. I have a great deal more patience in letting a story play out now than I did 7 or 8 years ago. Experience and my age play a factor in that, but so do my daughters.
Along with patience, my girls have taught me at the ripe age of 36 how to escape into childlike games and fun.
From building forts to coloring pictures and playing hide and seek, simple play is an incredible escape from the stresses and worries that come with being an adult.
Some of that stress comes in Jordan and I striving to give them the best life we can. It can a lot of pressure to be a dad.
As much as I feel like I do right, there’s still plenty of times I have to look myself in the mirror and admit I have done wrong — and communicate that to them properly.
On the flip side, nothing is quite as satisfying as when you know you are getting it right. Seeing my daughters pick up new skills or try new things is one of the most enjoyable parts of being a dad.
As much as I am enjoying this stage in their lives, soaking in all the fun moments, I have an eye to the future.
Each year, as they grow and change into the kids and eventually adults they will become, I feel like I get to become a new dad all over again.
Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there. Keep doing your best and enjoy every moment.
Kyle Troutman has served as the editor of the Cassville Democrat since 2014 and became Publisher in 2023. He was named William E. James/Missouri Outstanding Young Journalist for daily newspapers in 2017, and he won a Golden Dozen Award from ISWINE in 2022. He may be reached at 417-847-2610 or ktroutman@cassville- democrat.com.
