I ventured just outside of Barry County this weekend to test out the lake water in Baxter. On the way, I drove past this church on Highway H in Stone County and my fish eye caught its sign. It says, “Church parking only — violators will be baptized.” Holy Mackerel! That’s a soul-saving threat! How will it work exactly? Does this First Baptist have a Baptistry, or is this one of the dip ya’ in the lake kind of baptisms? If it washes away my sins, does it also wash away any parking tickets I might get? Is it saltwater? I’m a freshwater trout so that’s important. Sadly, or maybe fortunately — I’m a little confused on that one — I will never get the answers to those questions, as the church parking lot was completely full. If those cars all belong to church members, I reckon the witty nature of the sign is reflected in the pulpit. If those cars don’t belong to church members, that’s a whole lot of baptisms the pastor will have to perform! After taking this pic I was left wondering, are there any such signs in Barry County? The only one I can think of is Roaring River Resort. They always have a “reel” good time with their sign. If you know of one in the area, send it to me! I could always use a good laugh!

Trout Brown is the comics correspondent for the Cassville Democrat, aiming to point out entertaining happenings in Barry County.