I love the ocean.

Correction, I love to look at the ocean.

I fell into the early 2000s troupe of being a pre-teen girl who decorated her entire life with dolphin décor – despite my entire existence having been in the midwest.

I finally saw the ocean for the first time at 16, and then again at 17.

I remember convincing the entire travel train to wait in line and take the ferry from (if I remember correctly) Dauphin Island, Ala., to Ft. Morgan, Ala.

To this day I regret that choice. I was so excited to see the ocean I wanted to take the ferry instead of driving, but I had no idea how sick it would make me.

Another trip to the beach when Ellie, our oldest daughter, was 4 years old. This was the first trip Kyle and I had together as a family. We went to the same beach, but I request very strongly that we do NOT take the ferry.

Finally, last year after Olivia’s surgery, we went to Tybee Island, Ga., and during our trip, we booked a dolphin cruise.

I really felt like I could handle it. It was a bigger boat, and it wasn’t like they were going to go super-fast or anything.

After about 10 minutes of the 90-minute adventure, my stomach was churning.

After another 15 minutes, Kyle looked over to me and noticed I was crying. I didn’t even know I was crying; it was completely involuntary.

I hunkered down with the baby in my arms white knuckling the seat I was glued to, and Kyle and Ellie walked around the boat chasing the dolphins as they swam around us.

A sweet woman saw me and asked if I was OK. I said, “I am fine, I will be fine, I just don’t want to ruin the memory for my girls.”

Today, I am one day out from going on another adventure, full of firsts, with my wonderful family.

This one will include my very first plane ride, my first visit to Disney World and my first time on a Carnival cruise ship. Yes, a cruise, as in a very large boat in the middle of a very scary ocean — for 3 days.

All I can think is, “I am fine, I am going to be fine, I just don’t want to ruin this memory for my girls.”

I have a lot of anxiety about it, so much so that I was physically sick the other day, and I get nauseous every time I think about it all because I know how motion sick I get.

But, apart from this being our family vacation, which we are spending with some of Kyle’s family, It is also a celebratory trip. It started as a celebration trip for his little sister who graduated high school, but it also coincides with Olivia’s second birthday, the day we board the ship. We are also celebrating a new niece in the family coming this February, and my brotherin law and myself have graduated with new college degrees.

Even though I am anxious, I am hoping that I can show the girls how to enjoy the world around them, and to explore and to try new things – even if they are scary.

There are so many things in the world worth doing and seeing, and sometimes we have to step out of our comfort zone to appreciate them.

Bravery isn’t the lack of fear, it is about facing that fear and finding your way through it.

My sister-in-law is so brave for taking the next step after graduation and starting college.

My brother-in-law is so brave to earn a new degree and immediately make a change in his job.

My other sister-in-law is so brave to go on her pregnancy journey for her first time.

My daughters have been brave their whole lives, even if one of them still won’t try broccoli.

TroutMom says, you can’t be brave if you aren’t afraid. But, don’t let that fear hold you back from experiencing something amazing. This vacation will be amazing, and our family definitely needs a break.

I am more so looking forward to the memories with the girls and Kyle. Who knows, maybe we will come across a new international broccoli recipe that our 8-year-old will be brave enough to try.

Jordan Troutman is an Owner and General Manager of the Cassville Democrat, a wife, a mother of two daughters, and a graduate of Capella University with a Bachelor’s in Marriage and Family Therapy. She may be reached at jtroutman@cassville- democrat.com.