Is the road to acquiring genuine compassion only found by traversing painful experiences?

Is it in times of trials and suffering when our deepest bonds of connection to others are formed?

Maybe a transformation takes place when we personally connect with our own pain and then we can truly begin to understand the pain and suffering of others. The hurdles and obstacles we face can easily embitter our outlook and cause us to become self-centered and even angry.

On the other hand, our difficult experiences can direct us to ultimately become more loving and understanding of others and more sensitive to what they are going through.

“The most honorable man I ever knew” is how Amber Ferrell describes her memory of her grandfather and long-time Cassville resident, BF Babb. BF Babb stands out in my mind as unique and unforgettable among all of the individuals I have connected with over the years through hunger advocacy activities.

BF carried a deep rooted passion for using his strength and resources to alleviate the struggles others were experiencing. Well into his later years, even when his own mobility was compromised, BF would shop and weekly donate to the food pantry the traditional grocery staples of flour, sugar and vegetable oil.

I occasionally hinted to him that a variety of perhaps less heavy or bulky food supplies might be equally useful. He would not hear of a change in the shopping list. Humbly and faithfully, BF carried the bags of cumbersome staples down the stairs to the basement where the pantry was housed at that time.

BF desired the assurance that his neighbors facing hunger had everything they needed to prepare well rounded meals. He was always in good humor, pleasant, humble and wanted no recognition for his gifts. BF brought grocery donations routinely to the pantry until he could no longer safely drive his car. He retired to the Veterans home where he lived to the age of 93.

I have never encountered anyone else who has equaled his example of selfless earnest compassion for the food insecure. It seems appropriate to contemplate upon the genesis of that level of giving kindness and to reflect on some lessons to be gained from this man’s journey.

Born in 1920 in a farmhouse just about a mile from Washburn, BF’s childhood was marked by significant hardship. A lifestyle of poverty was likely not unusual for that era.

BF’s father died when he was just 7 years old.

Suddenly, without an income source, BF and his mother struggled to stay afloat. Their survival and food supply depended upon his ability to make a successful kill during his daily hunts.

The family home burned down when he was 12.

The situation worsened with the onset of the Great Depression a few years later. BF graduated from high school in Washburn and attended college for two years in Springfield and Dodge City. He taught school for a year at the old Quaker School House, then moved on to employment with Boeing in Wichita.

Married to his wife Eleanor in 1942, BF was inducted into the Marine Corps in 1943. The routine intense pressure to survive that he had come to experience in childhood, along with the constant firearm practice, likely contributed to his skills as a sniper in the Marines during WWII. He made beach landings under fire in the Pacific Theatre at Tarawa, Saipan, Tinian and Okinawa.

Throughout his life, BF faced several personal and economic challenges. After the war, a warehouse fire in Wichita destroyed all his and Eleanor’s possessions. The couple returned to Barry County and started from scratch to begin a business and a family.

When abruptly and harshly forced to face our own vulnerability, perhaps then we can connect more wholeheartedly with the challenges of others. It likely was BF’s early experience of having to hunt for food to support himself and his mother that triggered his desire to become a lifeline to others and initiated his commitment to alleviating hunger.

He was quoted by family members saying that he knew what it was like to be hungry – and there was nothing good to be said about it. Ultimately, he reworked his personal sufferings into actions of kindness and service to others.

Hopefully to see more compassion in our times, and in ourselves, we will not all not have to undergo such extreme hardships. If we look inward and honestly learn to address and examine our own pain, we might be motivated to help others heal.

Our troubles can lead us to interact with others authentically through a lens of lessened judgment or misunderstanding. Compassion grown out of pain can build a more unified community.

“Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Mark 12:31) May the legacy of the memory of a most honorable man like BF Babb deliver hope that changes our behavior through one kind word and one small act at a time.

Janet Mills is the director of Cassville Pantry, located at 800 W. 10th St. in Cassville. She may be reached at cassvillepantry@
gmail.com or 417–
846-7871.